In the world there will always be people more beautiful, more slender, more talented, with more charisma or with more money than us, and it is a fact that at any time we will live with them. For some this is not a problem, while others see it as the end of their relationship because they automatically imagine that their partners will be unfaithful, even if nothing justifies these fears.
They have made us believe that jealousy is normal in a relationship, which are a sample of how much we care about the other. We have seen them as a synonym for love, although it is closer to feeling that someone belongs to us and we have authority over that person and their relationships. But it is not normal or healthy to ask the couple or friends to focus their attention only on one in order to give security; on the contrary, it is a disorder known as celotipia.
If he does not shut you up, he does not want you
Sometimes, and especially in the early stages of the relationship, it is difficult to recognize a pathological jealous person for three reasons: the first is that they can disguise their insecurity to make a good impression; the second is that we have been led to believe that a certain degree of jealousy is acceptable with phrases as if he does not shut you up does not want you; and the third is that we idealize the couple.
As the relationship progresses, the symptoms of extreme affective dependence, low self-esteem and fear of abandonment appear. But although the basis of the celotypia is inferiority (which can cause pity), the poor appreciation that the celotípico has on itself does not justify that you want to control to the point of restricting your freedom to relate to other people or have other interests that have nothing to do with him.
There are two types of celotipia
Obsessive celotypics tend to become obsessed with things, feelings and moments. Many times they realize that their insecurity is unfounded, but they can not help it. In some cases it is a way to disguise another problem.
And for delusional celotypics any sign, gesture, comment or look, however insignificant, awakens the idea of infidelity. They live looking for evidence that does not exist, but they are real for them.
Signs that you are in a toxic relationship with a celotypic
Even if you prove it, your partner will never be completely convinced of your fidelity and, in order to justify himself, he invents fanciful stories; That will lead you to want to know where you are at all times, to the point that you ask for photos or call your friends and family to check it.
He gets angry when you go out with other people, it does not matter if they are men, women, friends or even family members. For them, any other person has double intentions, either to bind you or to induce you to do so. For the same reason, when you go out he tries to change your image so that you do not attract attention, he forbids you to use certain things like skirts, cleavage, heels, long hair, and so on.
To make matters worse, constantly review your activity on social networks: what you publish, who tells you, to whom you comment, the likes what you give and what you receive They even see your phone either secretly or by convincing you that it is a fidelity test that you owe.
If you are not willing to go to therapy, get away from it!
The first thing to understand is that jealousy does not disappear by magic, not even by force of will; People do not change for love either. Although there is a lot of desire to show you that you can act differently and trust yourself, in reality the celotypy is only the tip of the iceberg that reflects a deeper problem and in which jealousy is shown as the symptom.
What the insecure person must do by choice is to seek the help of a professional (psychologist, psychiatrist or both) to delve into the real problem to find a solution because if you are not good with yourself, less will be with you. Remember that the basis of every relationship is love, trust and respect; When one of these elements is missing, it is best to flee for your mental and emotional health.