The real REASONS by which we push people away BEFORE giving them a chance

There is a new dating technique that today's generation is adopting. Actually it is about the opposite. It's called we're going to finish before this starts, and it's really becoming very fashionable.

Most likely it has been generated from the internet dating culture and applications like Tinder, and it has become as popular and widely used as the non-responder-messages technique.

We are living at a too fast pace; we meet someone and almost instantly let him go.

Now the relationships are totally different from what we imagined they would be when they reached adults. We thought that when meeting a person things would be like this: exchange numbers, have an appointment, go to that appointment, return home, have another appointment, and then another, a few more, and then decide whether to formalize the relationship or not .

Today everything is very simple: exchange numbers, agree on an appointment, cancel that appointment. Or maybe: do not exchange numbers, meet in social networks, have sex, exchange phone numbers, never call.

But why? Where did all these rejections come from? When do we become a generation that does not end anything? Do we begin to give up halfway only because we prefer to go home to wait for the moment to form a relationship with someone who is waiting somewhere for us? When do we stop wanting to play just to become observers?

At some point along the way we become less daring, less confident and less gutsy, and we decide that it is easier to push people away than to give them a chance.

1. We are afraid

It is easier to sleep at night knowing that it was you who decided to leave. It's easier to say that you put an end to it. It is more comfortable to be the one that hurts, before someone else has the chance to harm you.

But is it better to be alone and lose opportunities, or is it better to risk suffering a little? Actually being alone is only a possible result after being with someone who, in fact, no one assures you that they will not leave once more. For the same reason, why be afraid?

2. The time is never right

When is the right time to meet someone? When is the ideal time to start a relationship? Last minute news: there is no time to fall in love with someone.

It happens or it does not happen. A person will not arrive when you are financially or emotionally stable. Not when you have decided that it is time and everything is in order. Things almost always happen when you are not ready; Even when your life is chaotic and you are a mess.

Things happen at the right time, even if it is not for you.

3. Because we think it's too good

To assume that someone is too good for you is to take your heart out of your chest and deliver it on a silver platter. Why the hell do you do that? Why are you giving up all the power?

Everyone is the same, especially in love. The fact that she is the prettiest girl you've ever been with, or that he's the most attractive man you've ever dated, does not mean she's going to take advantage of you or that her interest is not authentic.

Keeping people away just because you are afraid of being hurt, is like withdrawing from the war before it has begun.

4. We think we are too good

The opinion of friends and strangers has become a fundamental factor in the new dating culture that we have created. We have secret sex, secret relationships, and secret ruptures because we think we're better that way.

But, when it comes to love, there is no such thing. If that person makes you happy or could make you happy, then: is not he or she the best person you know?

You are never better than anyone, but acting as if you were is puts you in a lower category.

5. We saw something and we can not forget it

It could have been a little twitch in the eye, some detail in his smile, or his appearance that you did not like. Generally it will be something insignificant or more or less insignificant, but we like to find a reason to get away.

We are probably in search of perfection and perfection is totally impossible.

NF - WHY (Lyrics) (January 2021)