Tell me how long you've been single and I'll tell you how successful your next relationship will be. Sometimes we think that being single can be a situation of inferiority or disadvantage, especially if your best friends are enjoying the honeys of love.
However, being in a relationship is not synonymous with happiness. You can have a partner or you can be with someone, but this situation is not a guarantee of being really ready for someone else; for when we look for someone for the wrong reasons, it usually results in a disaster.
And it is that to be in a relationship with someone you have to first have a relationship with yourself; know you, know what you want.
It is possible that at this moment you ask yourself how you get to that state of knowing yourself; It is also possible that the answer is not the one you were waiting for, but the only way to do it is by being single.
When you give yourself space to enjoy your loneliness and the things that make you feel good, you acquire a powerful tool that is knowing yourself.
Looking into ourselves can cause fear, but in turn it is necessary to make that journey to have the relationship you are looking for: satisfactory and successful.
To know what you want, what you like and what you dislike, you must know yourself. It may sound exaggerated, but when you are with another person it is difficult to make your own decisions: you must reach agreements, take into account the other person's wishes and look for intermediate points; but when you are alone you should pay only attention to yourself and your existence.
When you are alone you can learn what all those little details that cause you joy mean. You discover what you want and what you do not want, and once you know what you want, you create your own definition of commitment.
You understand that being alone is not something depressing, but a passing state, a state to enjoy yourself. Being alone has nothing to do with feeling alone, the second is a choice.
That is why people who have had long periods of singleness are more likely to achieve successful relationships. Once you understand it, you project it and you attract it; You lose the fear of being authentic because you are very clear about what you are and you do not want to be anyone else. You do not seek approval from anyone, you are only looking for that partner with whom to share the good moments of life.
Being alone does not mean spending a single day and then looking for someone else; it's about enjoying those six months, that year, those two years or the time it takes to get to know you and understand you. That time is of course an investment to build the life you want, it means understanding that you do not need a person to be happy.
If you have spent enough time alone, you will discover that you are better prepared to have a relationship because you are not looking to replicate codependent patterns, nor are you hoping that someone will solve your own problems. You live life freer and safer.
As the movie says How to be single,
There is a right way and an incorrect way to be single. The world is full of lonely hearts that seek the perfect combination, a connection of love.
And somewhere, among the texts and the jokes of a single night, what all these lonely hearts have in common is the need to learn to be alone in a world full of constant evolution and definitions of love.