I know I could have sent this to you by email or in a letter, but I know how you are and that the chances of you taking the time to read anything I have to say are practically nil. However, I would like to thank you. Thank you for everything you have done, and for all that you have given me.
Now, if I know you the way I think, you'll probably wonder why the hell I appreciate you. After all, you left, remember? But the exact reason why I should thank you is, precisely, for abandoning me as you did, as it has given me so much. Let me explain you.
Most 19 year old girls have fun; they get to experience university life to the fullest. My friends talk about guys they wanted to go out with, parties where they danced with too many people and nights when they drank too much. I used to be jealous of them, and also envy them. I sat on my couch on a Saturday night with my belly of 6 months pregnant and cursed your name for putting me in this situation. I knew you were going to the bars after the football game, I knew you were getting drunk and you went out with that brunette who worked at the cafe.
Although I have come to accept that after our relationship of 3 years and discover that I was pregnant you decided that you did not want to be part of our daughter's life, I can not use that to hate you. I would like to thank you because you have left me the joy of raising our daughter and I can not pay for that.
Thank you for allowing me to give our daughter enough love and affection to make up for your absence. Thank you for giving him brown eyes that I can look at every night before going to bed. Thanks for leaving me when you did, because we both know that sooner or later the relationship would break. Thanks for giving me a great story to tell her every time I have to tell her about sex, to tell her that sleeping with someone will not make her love me more and that getting pregnant will not make her stay with you. I can shudder at the sound of your name, but there is no day that passes that you do not thank you for giving it to her.
Above all, thank you for forcing me to grow. Leaving the university that I loved to go to, to go to one that was closer to my house was not the ideal plan I had for my future. Working full time, taking classes at night and being awake with a crying baby was not what I had thought I would be doing when I was 19. However, I can not recover any of that.
By leaving me you allowed me to find someone who helped me in the situation I was in. Someone who was by my side instead of being scared. You allowed me to find a great boy who cares about my daughter and me, who takes the place you left.
Thank you for making me reassess my priorities. Thank you for allowing me to learn that listening to a little girl will always beat the sound of a DJ at a high-volume college party. Thank you for teaching me that changing a thousand dirty diapers is preferable to waking up only after drinking.
You made me grow, you allowed me to see that not only could I be an incredible mother, but I could also play the role of father. Being a single mother has been one of my greatest achievements, because I have shown that I am capable of anything.
Sometimes I miss the old life I used to have, the one I had shared with you. But reality hits me, and the girl you did not want to have anything with, looks at me and smiles at me. I can not imagine not having it and I would not change it for anything in the world. She makes me a better person and I do not know if I would like to be the person I would have become if she had not arrived.
At age 19 I was scared, and I knew you were also scared, but I did not run away. Instead of getting rid of the situation, I walked forward and overcame the obstacles that came before me. One day, when she is older and begins to understand things better, she will realize that I was the one who raised her and that it was I who sacrificed herself.
So thanks for continuing with your life and being the selfish human that my father always warned me about. Our relationship was not fairy tale, but at least I have a little princess out of it; so I have my own fairy tale, a life full of happiness, a happy forever with my daughter.
You have taught me that the prince is not always the one who saves the day and as if by magic, a happier life returns: sometimes it is a girl with a ribbon in my hair that my mother calls me.