Letter to my DAD: The man who made me but did not want me

Many times I asked myself why you had abandoned me, why you did not want to take the role of my father, why I had to grow up saying the trite phrase: I do not have a father. And although I have not found answers to all my questions, I have learned that revenge and resentment only harm me. That is why I have decided to write you this letter.


I do not know what your name is. I do not want to know, it does not work for me anymore. Maybe you're reading this thinking I'm going to tell you that you were a horrible father and that you should be embarrassed by the way you walked away from me, but no. This is not the case. What I want to tell you is I forgive you.

I forgive you for not having been there, because that made me a stronger, braver, persevering and independent person. I forgive you because in reality you did not need me at any time. When I was little and at school they were celebrating Father's Day, my grandfather was always there. If they asked me: Where is your dad? , I always answered that I did not have, but that life had given me a second best option. He had already been a father, so he taught me absolutely everything I should know.

He never spoke badly of you to tell the truth, he never told me about you because you were never part of our lives. From him I learned that I should be grateful for what I have. He taught me not to give up and not suffer for anything or anyone, and not to believe that by not having a father, was less or should be treated differently.

I forgive you for pushing me away, because that made me find new weapons to be near. My grandmother taught me to respect and be trustworthy. She taught me to always be faithful to what I feel and to the people around me, because lying is the worst thing that can be done to someone. She never allowed me to disrespect others, and when I came to do it, she taught me what was really a punishment. She was never afraid to punish me.

I forgive you for not being a father because thanks to that my mom could take your place. She took your place from the moment I was born. He brought out two children, got a job and was always able to provide for us. Sometimes, he could not give us exactly what he wanted to give us, but I will always be eternally grateful for everything he did for us. She went to every school event, every presentation and has pictures of all the acts I participated in. She has always been there for everything and is proud of me for all the memories I have created. She has shown me what love is, and we have not needed you.

I forgive you for all these things, because I know that thanks to it I am a better person. I went to my first day of primary school without you, I graduated from high school without you, I go to the middle of my university career without you. I have come to an agreement with who I am and who I want to be. Now I know the kind of father I want for my children.

Not having you has not defined my success, on the contrary, it motivated me to look for it and to get ahead. And not to prove it to you, but to prove it to myself. When I look around me, I have my family that has grown over time, and the people who have entered and left my life have filled the gap that you left behind.

I forgive you because the pain I felt for your abandonment has made me invincible, because I have learned that while a father's love is important, love is unconditional and it does not matter where it comes from. Your absence taught me that hate does not take me anywhere. I have learned to forgive. I have learned to forgive you.

So remember, you did not ruin my life when you left. My world went on without you. My life has not been bad because you have not been in it, on the contrary, I have been a happy woman. So you continue with your life. Do not torment yourself for having abandoned me.

I really hope you have found happiness, just as I did. And I forgive you for being the man who created me, but he did not want me.


Your daughter.

My Grandfather Revealed Our Family Secret Before Dying (January 2021)