I no longer ask him to be handsome, only to stay by my side


Every time someone asks me what it is in the first thing I notice in a man, I always answer: his voice, his eyes, his hands. I have stopped responding with the typical qualities you want at 20. For years I blamed the Disney films for my disappointments and now I realize that it is not the prince charming I had imagined as a child.

When I was younger I thought of a handsome, intelligent, hardworking, funny man, of course with a career on the rise and who was the heir of a great fortune, to be able to give me some luxuries and travel by his side. Eventually I discovered that there was no Mr. Darcy from the books of Jane Austen.

When I was approaching 30 I began to realize that it did not matter the money or his physique, but the way he looked at me and treated me. It is not easy to find a person who fills you with details and makes you feel special, someone who is present in your life and supports you in your decisions.

After meeting some who treated me like a queen at the beginning, I realized that time corrodes relationships and what started as a movie romance, ended up being another sad love story, one you want to forget.

So, thinking about what I need from a man, I have come to the conclusion that I need someone who is willing to stay, someone who can make decisions and be able to fulfill them, someone who has no doubts or fears, want to share your time and be by my side.

Maybe we need to have some things in common, but what I value most in a man is that he accepts my defects, understands my silences and does not make a drama of every situation. I like to believe in destiny and every time a relationship does not work, I think it's because this small failure leads me to find the man of my dreams.

But my dreams are not the same as when I was a teenager, now I need someone with bases and principles that have in mind the same goal as me: fight to maintain our relationship. I do not want promises or oaths, just actions, without expecting anything in return.

I have stopped idealizing the perfect man, in order to concentrate on knowing the right man. Someone who wants to grow by my side and together we can build something solid. I need a person who accepts that I love my loneliness and that if I renounce it it is because he is worth it; someone who makes me feel secure about myself and their love. Maybe what I need most is for that man to take me by the hand and not let me go.

7 Signs Your Man Doesn’t Love You Anymore (January 2021)