As much as we want to believe and despite their incredible ability to keep things relatively calm without going crazy (at least not at all), moms are not superheroines; They are human: they get tired, they get fed up and more than once a day they want to give up motherhood.
Celeste Erlach, mother of two children, sent a strong message to her husband: the children are raised between two. Most of the families grew up seeing how the home and the little ones were the exclusive task of the mothers, and now it is expected that, in addition to fulfilling it, they will also work. That's why Celeste decided to write a letter to her husband
I need more help I know that last night was hard for you, I asked you to take care of the baby so I could go to bed early. He was crying. I screamed, rather. I could hear it up and my stomach was shaking from the sound, I wondered if I should go down to free you from the torture or close the door and have the rest you so desperately needed. I chose the latter.
After 20 minutes you came to the room, the baby was still crying, you put him in the crib and you brought her to my side of the bed. It was a clear gesture that you had finished taking care of him. I wanted to scream at you, seriously I was about to start an epic fight with you at that moment. I was taking care of our two children ALL DAY. The least you could do was be with him a couple of hours so I could rest a little at last. Is it too much to ask?
I know we both grew up in a house with the typical roles of mother and father. The burden of caring for the children fell completely on our mothers, while our parents were relatively exempt from that responsibility. They were excellent parents, but they were not expected to change diapers, feed, worry and care for their children. The mothers were superwomen who took care of the home: they cooked, cleaned and raised the children. Any help from their husbands was welcome, but not expected.
I see how each day we are more and more immersed in that family routine. My responsibility is to feed the family, clean the house and take care of the children even after work. I feel that I am to blame for this because I created the illusion of power with everything. And, to be honest, I would like to be able to.
I see my friends and other moms do it excellent and I know that you also realize it. If they can and if our moms could, why can not I? I do not know. Maybe our friends are perfect in public, but in the privacy of their homes they also struggle. Maybe our moms suffered in silence and, years later, they just do not remember how hard it was. Or maybe this is a thought that haunts me, I'm not qualified for this job. And as much as it costs me to say it: I need more help.
Requesting it makes me feel unsuccessful. That is, yes, you help. You are an amazing father and you do a great job with the children. Also, this should be easy for me, right? For that of the maternal instinct? But I am human and I sleep, although I am going, five hours a day. I'm tired. I need you.
In the mornings I need you to help me enlist our child while I take care of the baby, prepare breakfast and have a cup of coffee. And no, enlisting the child does not mean leaving it in front of the television. It means that you take him to the bathroom, give him his breakfast, make sure he drank water, prepares his backpack
At night I need an hour to de-stress in bed knowing that our child is asleep and that the baby is well in your hands. I know it's hard to hear him cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can take care of it and reassure it most of the day, you can do it for an hour or two. Please.
On weekends I need to rest a bit more, leave the house and feel like a normal person, even if it's just a little walk around the block or a trip to the store. And although it seems that I have everything under control, I also need your support. That when the children sleep you offer to wash the dishes and do not expect me to do everything.
Finally, I need to hear you say that you are grateful for what I do. I want you to notice when I wash my clothes or when I prepare dinner, that you realize that I have never asked you to stay at home when you have extra activities at work or when you go out to play sports. When one is a mother, everyone assumes that we must be at home all the time and always available to take care of the children, whether you are there or not.
I know our parents did not do it that way, and I really hate having to ask for it. I wish I could do everything and that it was a piece of cake, I wish I did not need a bit of recognition from you to do what I'm supposed to do as a mother. But I am brandishing a white flag and recognizing that I am human.I am telling you how much I need you and that if I continue like this I will fall apart. That would hurt you, our children and our family. Because, let's face it: you need me too.