Premenstrual syndrome is one of the most odious things that happens to women. It can transform us from a tender and innocent to a complete bitch. Well, in some way it is to be expected or how else can we feel when we spill our own blood for a whole week every month? Not to mention having to deal with the unbearable roller coaster of emotions.
To give an explanation to all the men who are not able to understand us in those days, we will give a tour through the mind of a girl with premenstrual syndrome. Girls, they will not let me lie that in those days we all feel this way:
7:00 am I do not feel like getting up today. I hate my job. I hate having to drive to get to work. I hate having to spend my best years sitting in the same place every day. I hate everything! What is the meaning?
7:15 a.m. OMG! I'm depressed? Is this how clinical depression feels? It hurts all my bubis, my back, my Oh, wait! Premenstrual syndrome. Ding, ding, ding!
7:30 am Thank you, Lord, at least I have someone to blame for this almost paralyzing and unusual anxiety.
7:45 a.m. Cool! I love sudden pimples. Especially in the middle of the forehead, just where I can not cover it with my hair. Now everyone will see me weird.
8:00 am Got damn! No amount of makeup could make me stop looking at myself like a vampire. I'm not even bleeding yet. How is it possible that it is so discolored? I think I'll have to use all my blush.
8:05 am Perfect, I'm too fat for my clothes I want to burn my entire closet, nothing helps me!
8:10 a.m. Maybe if I put on my biggest dress with my biggest sweater, I look a little better.
8:14 am Wow, what I was missing! Now I look like a homeless person, pale and with a forehead full of acne. Exactly what I wanted.
8:16 AM All I want at this moment is a Egg McMuffin. Literally, if I do not get it, I will not stop thinking about it all day. What a great dilemma! Do not! I have to have oatmeal breakfast.
8:25 a.m. Hello, yes, can you give me a Egg McMuffin please? And could you throw some dignity into the bag? Oh, what is that? Do not you have that because here is McDonalds? It's okay, I can continue without that.
08:26 a.m. DIOSMYTHESTAILSOFTHEDELICIESWHEREHEPROBADOENMIVIDA!
08:30 a.m. BUT WHAT? IS THAT WHAT I JUST DO ?! I hate myself for that.
08:32 am No, quiet. I deserved that. I'm going to eat a salad at lunch. No problem. Balance of powers, right?
08:45 a.m. Why have I not heard from my boyfriend yet? He never sends me good morning texts. It is not romantic. Sure, he does not love me anymore. He does not even like to talk to me. My God, everything is collapsing. We have to finish before everything gets worse. I will never find anyone else. How will I start again?
08:48 a.m. Aww, my love! There is. My God, he is so sweet, affectionate and attentive. I love.
09:30 am I'm so hungry again How is that possible?
09:35 am Oh, of course I want a donut, how kind you are! How can I despise you? I do not want to be rude.
09:36 a.m. DIOSMYTHESTAILSOFTHEDELICIESWHEREHEPROBADOENMIVIDA!
09:37 a.m. One more will not hurt me much, right? Total, the damage is done! Hahaha.
09:38 AM Damn! I hate myself again Why? Why do my coworkers insist on feeding the monstrous premenstrual syndrome inside me? Should not I already know the days of my menstrual cycle? I have been working here long enough.
10:01 am I think that this morning I gained more than 5 kilos. Okay, I'll eat lettuce with lemon juice at lunchtime.
10:58 am I love my dog so much, what will I do when he dies?
11: 01-11: 15 a.m. * Episode of involuntary and uncontrollable crying in the bathroom *
11:32 am Sometimes I feel that everyone on Instagram hates me.
11:35 am Whatever! I can post what I want and if you do not like it, then stop following me!
11:36 am It's a joke! Please, do not stop following me! I need your likes in my selfies with ultrafilters that I take every morning when I wake up.
12:00 pm Time of my lettuce with lemon juice.
12:05 pm Are they going for pizza? Of course I go with you, I had no plan.
12:32 pm Why is the food so fucking good? I do not know if it's pre-menstrual syndrome or what, but I think, honestly, I could die on a slice of pizza with cheese and chipotle.
12:45 pm I'm a fat woman! Now nobody is going to love me.
01:07 pm I like it a little when my bubis They look a bit swollen. I feel so feminine.
01:10 pm My breasts are huge, they make me feel huge
02:46 pm I look forward to having a text message fight with my boyfriend. He has not even asked how I am today or if I want to go out with him in the week.
02:48 pm I do not care if it's obvious that you love me! I NEED ROMANCE!
02:52 pm YES, IT IS SERIOUS! Of course, this is very serious!
02: 53-03: 15 pm (Ignore it to make him suffer)
03:16 pm So sorry. It's just that, I miss you. You make me so happy, and the truth is that I felt a little sad this week
03:18 pm No, it's all my fault. Uff, I'm so sensitive lately! I'm sorry baby. I feel stupid.
03: 19-03: 30 pm * Episode of involuntary and uncontrollable crying in the bathroom *
04:12 pm All I want is to go home, put on my pajamas, drink a whole bottle of wine and cry. God, I'm pathetically stereotyped!
04:15 pm No. I'm going to the gym. I will fight against my own demons and against premenstrual syndrome and say: I fucked up! I do not have to give in to the beast inside me. I have the power!
05: 30-06: 00 pm I hate traffic. I hate it so much. This is horrible. I will never get home. Or the gym. This is crap. I'm going to give up everything, right here. I will just leave my car in the middle of the street and sit down to celebrate that I am free.
06:01 pm Why has not my boyfriend talked to me?
06:02 pm I miss my dog. My dog is not in the gym. Okay, I'll postpone the gym. I can be fat for another day.
06: 30-10: 00 pm I deserved this wine. Do not they say that a glass of wine a day is good for your health? That means that four glasses a day is incredible for health.
Why are the girls on television so wonderful? I want to be like them. I hope my boyfriend still loves me.
I'm amazing. I mean, when I'm not acting like a complete madwoman. Which I do a week every month. It's like Marilyn Monroe said, you know? The thing about accepting me at my worst moment. Or something like that. I'm starving again.
10:05 pm Hello my love. I know we do not normally spend the weeknight together, because we both have to work, but I really need you to come and hug me all night, can you?
10:06 pm * Serious threat of uncontrollable crying attack *
10:15 pm Baby, you came!
10:20 pm I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood at all. I'm disgusted. Please stop trying to seduce me, nothing is going to happen, okay?
10:30 pm Hello! Are you awake yet? I'm already in the mood
10:45 pm Goodnight world. See you tomorrow.
10: 45-11: 00 pm * Circling without being able to sleep *
11:01 pm Shit, I'm hungry!