Finding and keeping the love of your life may seem like a game of chance: no matter how madly in love you may be, it is not a sufficient guarantee for a marriage to last.
We know that sex, trust and compassion, for example, are crucial to keeping a relationship alive, but you may not be aware of some surprising findings from science about what makes a marriage last.
1. Have a cheap wedding
It seems like a joke, but according to a study by Emory University in Atlanta, couples who have less expensive celebrations are more likely to stay together. So you know: blessing your marriage with a fairytale wedding is not important.
2. Love on-line
According to a study published in the National Academy of Sciences of the United States, couples who meet online have a lower divorce rate and report higher levels of marital satisfaction. It is a reason to meditate about the search for a spouse through Internet pages.
3. Not living in social networks
Are you posting your way to divorce on Facebook? According to a 2014 study from Boston University, the use of social networking sites is linked to an increase in marital dissatisfaction and increased divorce rates. They also found that, among the large consumers of social media, 32% thought of leaving their partner, compared to 16% of users who do not have a social network.
4. Watch movies together
According to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, who watch movies together, stay together. This is due to the conversations that arise around the relationships that act the characters and that work as safe environments for couples, who think and speak critically about their own relationships.
5. Pay attention to the spouse, distracting himself with his comments
According to the psychologist John Gottman, when your partner interrupts your reading to teach you, for example, a meme What you saw on the Internet, is not only trying to make you laugh but wants your attention, and if you answer as always: Now no, I'm busy, you're hurting your relationship.
After studying these types of interactions between newly married couples and following them for six years, Gottman discovered that nine out of ten who remained married still paid attention to their partner during these small occasional interactions, while couples who divorced only They had paid attention to each other three times out of ten.
6. Use the word us during discussions
I love you is great, but we love each other is better. According to a study from the University of California, Berkeley, couples who used the word during conflicts were better able to resolve fights and suffered less stress because of it, compared to the couples that used me and you. The study found that a lower use of pronouns individual It is linked to a happy marriage.
7. Put your partner on a pedestal
Do you think your partner walks on water? So lean on that thought for life.
According to an investigation of the University of Buffalo, seeing your partner with eyes of love can be key in the preservation of their conjugal happiness. In the study, 222 couples were asked to rate their partner and themselves several times over the course of three years. The conclusion was that those who could enlarge the positive characteristics of their partners, are more likely to stay happy in their marriage.
8. Do things together that they like so much
You may think that sharing your leisure time with your partner is the most important thing in the world, however, the findings published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicate that doing activities that one of the members of the couple does not like diminishes strongly his conjugal happiness. On the other hand, when couples are involved in activities that both enjoy, their conjugal happiness increases in the short and long term.
The researchers came to the conclusion that it is less important than you think that the two share the same activities that they are practicing as hobbies and that they enjoy so much.