When a relationship starts, it is almost impossible to determine the exact time it will last, or whether or not the person will be by your side for the rest of your life. And, although at the beginning they believe that they are the one for the other, as time passes and the problems arise, they will realize that things are not always as they believed.
So that your relationship is not destined to fail, there are certain things that you must eradicate from your love life:
1. Stop spying
So is. You have to stop snooping where you should not. Insecurity will kill a relationship faster than anything else. Do not read your email, do not check your mobile phone, stop looking at the photos you give them like on Instagram and Facebook, do not check your wallet or your papers, diary, notebooks. If it is not yours, there is a very simple rule that you must follow: leave it there.
Insecurity creates insecurity
If you are in a relationship, then trust the person you are with. If you think that it is only hurting you or if you do not trust him, ask yourself if you are punishing him for what someone else did. The only thing you should look for are the reasons to stay by his side and trust him.
Stop spying. It is not healthy and that will only create more distrust.
2. Stop being jealous
He is with you, right? If you ask him all sorts of questions every time he wants to go for a drink with his friends or go to lunch with a co-worker, you're just going to turn off any kind of meaningful communication he has with you.
Let's say a friend of yours just finished with her boyfriend and asks her to accompany her to lunch. Surely you are already thinking that she is preparing the territory and she is an opportunist, and maybe you even plan to go through the place to see that everything is in order. Do you really think he's going to trust you if he's afraid you can show up and make a scene? DO NOT!
Seriously, calm down
Keep your insecurities controlled. If you are jealous, try this: Accept that you are jealous, and explain why. You will be surprised at how well communication works in a relationship.
3. Stop treating your fights as if they were a war. Be careful when they argue.
Never, understand it well, never betray your intimacy in a struggle for a personal interest. You know their weaknesses; You know secrets that nobody else knows. When a fight arises, it is very easy to get caught up in anger and say things that are not meant because of the heat of the moment, and that is not right.
Try to understand the reason for the discussion. Try to understand him. Together fight against the problem.
You know the other's vulnerabilities
You have the power to hurt your partner. Do not use it It is a huge violation of trust, and it will cause damage that can not be repaired.
4. Stop taking past fights and old wounds
Do you think that remembering what he told you three months ago when he was angry will solve what is happening right now? No, he will not. And if you tell her that you're still angry at how unusually late they arrived at your grandfather's birthday dinner last year, will you solve the problem? No, he will not.
Clinging to what he says when he is angry, or what he has done that bothers you so that he can later use it in future fights, is not only unhealthy: it is highly toxic to your relationship.
Do not open wounds of the past. Let things go, and already, with the commitment to leave the mistakes of the past behind.
5. Stop making threats and put ultimatums only to control their actions
Participating in a kind of emotional terrorism is never a good idea. Do not treat your partner as a hostage, with threats of breakup, divorce, throwing all your personal belongings into the street, threatening to kill yourself or worse, kill him, telling all your friends in common how evil he is with you, or Any other similar thing.
Just do not do it. And if he does it with you: GO!
6. Stop venting your problems on social networks
There really is no need to put hints on Twitter like: Some people should learn to block their phones or leave some passive-aggressive status update of how love hurts and how unfair life is, or whatever.
Everyone knows who you are talking about, even your partner knows he is talking about him. Then, if you have a complaint, tell it to him.
Stop posting your problems. Better spend your energy in showing that person how much you love him (if you really do).
7. Stop thinking that a person is all what you need
It is a wonderful idea. It is very romantic, beautiful, poetic, but if it were true, it would be completely disastrous.
Couples should be careful not to drown themselves or each other.Basing all your happiness on another person is not only unrealistic, it is dangerous and unfair. That is a huge burden for just one person. The most healthy thing is to have external interests and separate lives. You do not have to love the same things that he loves, nor vice versa. Why should they do it? You can appreciate someone's love for something without having to be part of it.
While it is important to have interests and passions in common, you do not have to do everything together. You were a complete person, and you have to remain so: that's why he fell in love with you.