We all know at least one couple in which the two constantly scream, fight, talk behind each other's backs or cheat when they supposedly claim to love each other. But if you mention to them that the best thing would be for them to separate, they react as if you had shot them both.
Separate us? Why should I separate from the person I wish was dead? Although deep down they wanted to be, with such contradictory answers they are really saying: I am afraid of being alone.
A study conducted by an English law firm showed that the main reason people do not separate or remain in harmful relationships is the fear of loneliness, a divorce or not being able to have financial stability individually.
According to the study, these are the seven main reasons why people remain in an unhappy relationship.
Richard Linklater, director of the film BoyhoodHe said: It is better to be alone than to be together with a lover feeling alone.
Loneliness is a state of mind, and can occur even if we are among a crowd. Staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy may prevent us from being physically alone, but it will not prevent us from feeling that way.
We were not born accompanied, so we can survive without a person who is with us all the time. Our nature has given us what is necessary to live as independent people, if we are afraid it is because we are not used to being on our own, we are not sure we can find anyone else. We prefer to be satisfied with the unhappiness that we have to risk leaving and looking for something better.
If we are with a person simply because we feel pain or fear of hurting her, in any way we will harm her, because she will realize our tension and estrangement. Staying together will be a constant reminder of our absence.
To say that we have invested a lot of time in a relationship is not a valid argument. The time we spend with a person is never a loss, since each year, each decade, is a learning experience. You do not have to be ashamed that there is an ex in your past.
They can have properties together, but like a broken relationship, they can also be divided. Whether or not you are in a relationship, possessions should not become a burden, and staying together because of what you both have is ignoring the issues that are pending between you and them.
The feelings that accompany the transition from being in a relationship to no longer being in it can feel like remorse, since we are not used to being alone. Not having someone to send messages to or sleeping next to us are adjustments that we can get used to over time, however, true remorse is what happens when we are halfway through life and we realize that we have all the time time with the wrong person.
If it is not broke, do not fix it. If it is broken but has no repair, stop losing your money and accept that you should throw it away.
For some couples who are committed to marriage, breaking their vows is only possible when everything has been lost. In a relationship you should evaluate how severe the problems are and if it is worth the effort to fix them. If you realize that the two of you are incompatible, do not think that the relationship will improve over time. Most likely, it will make your discomfort worse as you let it go.