According to the page PsychologyToday, from the University of California, there are 7 chronic habits that unhappy people have. The researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky affirms that in 40% happiness depends on our power to change.
There are millions of people on the planet who are really happy, the rest oscillates between happiness and unhappiness, depending on how you have had your day. Lyubomirsky warns that before explaining the 7 habits it should be clear to us that all people, sometime in their life, suffer unhappiness for a day or even weeks; However, this does not mean that you live unhappy all the time. The difference between a happy and unhappy life lies in the frequency and time we stay there.
1. They believe that life is always difficult
The difference with happy people is that they know that life can be hard and that they will have to face unfavorable moments with an attitude of curiosity and not victimhood. They are responsible and accept to have got into trouble, they concentrate on leaving them as soon as possible.
Perseverance is the solution to problems, complaining about the circumstance is a symptom of an unhappy person. All the time they see themselves as victims of life and they stagnate in the attitude of looking at what has happened to me and they do not look for the way out.
2. They are distrustful
Unhappy people do not believe in their peers, do not trust other people. Unfortunately, this behavior is breaking all connection with the world beyond its inner circle, and prevents the opportunity to make new friends.
The happy ones mostly believe in the kindness of the people, they do not consider that everyone has the intention to tease them. In general, happy people are open and sympathetic to people who know and develop a sense of community around them.
3. Focus on what is wrong and not on what is good
Of course there are many bad things in the world, but unhappy people ignore the good and only concentrate on what goes wrong. They are easily distinguished: they always complain and answer: Yes, but to any aspect of the world.
The happy one is aware of the problems that exist, but they balance their concern with the knowledge of what is right. For Sonja, it is to have both eyes open. Those who are not happy tend to close one before the good by being distracted by the bad. Happy people keep the perspective.
4. They are compared with others because of envy
An unhappy person believes that the good luck of others is stealing his. They think that there are not enough good things for everyone and they are always comparing themselves with others. Attitudes like this lead to jealousy and resentment.
The happy ones know that the luck they come to have depends on the circumstances of what they can aspire to and what they can achieve. They believe they have a unique action plan that nobody can duplicate or steal. Do not get discouraged thinking that your good luck is limited when others are doing well in life.
5. They crave control of their lives
The difference between craving and achieving lies in achieving our goals. The happy guide their days step by step to achieve their goals, in the end they realize that few things are those that can be controlled, because what life holds defines its new direction.
Those who are unhappy tend to micromanage their efforts to control the results and collapse when life changes the plan. The key is to focus on objectives, but leave room for the worst to happen without collapsing. Even the best plans are diverted when something goes wrong, happy people have their plan B: follow the flow.
6. They consider their future uncertain and feel fear
Negative thoughts do not allow unhappy people to react to opportunities, they avoid thinking about what could be good. They have their mind full of constant fears and worries.
The happy ones have a healthy dose of delirium and are allowed to daydream about what they would like life to surprise them. They also experience fear and worry. When fear reaches a happy person, think about what to do to prevent what is worrying; it's responsible. If it is not within their reach, they realize that fear is taking over and they stop it.
7. Your talks are gossip and complaints
They like to live in the past. the problems and what happens to them are their favorite topics. Unhappy people, when they have nothing to say, talk and invent or tell gossip about other people's lives. The happy live in the now and dreams of the future. You can feel the positive vibration when entering a room. When something goes well, they rejoice and appreciate what they have.
Of course, nobody is perfect. We have all gone through the world of negativity, but the important thing is how long we stay in it and how fast we try to get out of there. The positive habits of everyday life differentiate happy people from unhappy ones.
Go, fall, get up again and repeat it. The difference lies in getting up. Lyubomirsky