Why do we always go back to our ex boyfriends, old lovers, love affairs, etc.? What is the appeal of bringing the garbage back home when it is ready to go to the garbage dump?
It is a difficult concept to understand when analyzing the situation from the outside, when you are not in the shoes of a person who feels so alone that the only thing he seeks is the company of someone else. But, let's be honest, we all have felt this way on occasion.
Many times, we usually keep a list of old loves in the back of our mind, because having a backup plan we feel a certain type of security. We want to maintain that level of comfort, familiarity and a history that we know, we will not find someone else.
We keep the doors open to these old adventures believing that it is a good idea. The truth is that, it is not. Here are the reasons:
1. It does not allow you to advance
Why do you want to intentionally prevent your progress in the dating world? Life is about meeting new people, going to places you've never met, and learning about things that have value. But, by clinging to keep in your life loves of the past, in your present, it prevents you from achieving this.
Mentally and emotionally, you can not go on with your life completely, if you do not stop looking back.
2. If it did not work before, it will not work now
Would you take off and put the same bandage on a wound over and over again? No. So why go back and end continuously with a person who has hurt you in the past, or who just does not do you good?
It is self-destructive to get involved in something that you know very well will not work. Rest assured that, if it did not work the first time (or the second, the third), it is probably not working now either. Stop pushing things.
3. It is emotionally exhausting
Leaving doors open to an old relationship is not healthy. It is difficult to stay like this, it makes you wonder about your intuition and your current situation, and most likely, when it does not work, you end up with a broken heart.
There is a reason why we can not travel to the past, and it is because the past must be left behind.
The old loves should be left behind as you move forward, towards something bigger and better. It's hard to get away from someone you feel comfortable with, but it's much worse to keep getting involved with someone that will surely hurt you in the end.
4. It makes you look bad
Nobody wants to be with an indecisive girl, especially one who does not know how to choose who she wants to be with. By keeping several doors open, or even if it's just an ex-door, it gives people the impression that you can not go ahead or establish yourself with just one man.
If you want to be with a boy who treats you well, who is only with you and leaves behind the relationships with his former girlfriends, then you must do the same for him. Do not get a bad reputation just because you are afraid of cutting ties.
5. It's a mess that you do not need
As we grow, we try to have our life in order and maintain an organization in it. But, the fact that you have all those doors open does not help at all. How can you keep up with three ex-boyfriends if you can not even find the car keys in your apartment?
Clear your mind and your heart, remember that a new love is always on the horizon. You have to have hope for the future, and not be afraid to cut ties with old loves once and for all.