Relationships are beautiful, raw, real and unique. There is no better feeling in the whole world than what we have when a relationship goes well. But, when things get complicated, there is nothing that causes us more anxiety.
Throughout life we learn very valuable lessons that help us find happiness in our future relationships. Here are 12 most important lessons you should learn about relationships when you are 20 (and keep learning and practicing the rest of your life).
1. Learn to give freedom to the other person
When you get involved with someone, you should not forget to pay attention to the most important part of being in a relationship: acceptance and understanding. Freedom is necessary for growth, and important for discovering dreams, passions and happiness.
The more you are able to give your partner freedom, the more he will feel understood, appreciated and loved. He or she will want to spend more time with you because your love is given to you without any condition.
However, when you do not want to grant freedom in a relationship and put your fear and anxiety before your love and understanding, the trust necessary for a healthy relationship does not exist. And, of course, as soon as the other person feels tied down, he will want to get away from you. What you wanted to avoid will happen: lose him.
2. Be the best version of yourself
When we get involved with a person, we tend to become obsessed with becoming the ideal person for him or her. We are willing to change everything we are to please you.
You must remember that if someone was attracted to you from the beginning, it was nothing more and nothing less than what you were. If you are in a relationship or not, during the twenties you must learn to be the best version of yourself. Having expectations about yourself is as important as having them from others.
3. Learn from self-love
Self-esteem goes hand in hand with self-confidence. It is what allows you to stand out, shine and push you to grow. Having confidence leads you to make decisions based on love and kindness, instead of fear, guilt and anxiety, which are the three emotions that will lead you directly to a break in a relationship.
Before anything else, you must learn to love yourself unconditionally. This means accepting that you will never be perfect, but that by looking at yourself in the mirror, you are comfortable with what you see. You must be at peace with your demons of the past, let go of the luggage that chokes you, free your soul and ignite your spirit.
And do not worry if you do not fully master it, because this is a lesson to learn throughout life.
4. Learn to trust
Learning to trust is very difficult. There are people who need to impose conditions to trust someone else, something like: I will trust you if you always tell me what happens to you, or I will trust you if you tell me often that I am the best person for you.
Over time you will learn that this type of trust is not real, it only creates doubts. They say that the one who seeks finds: if you persistently seek a problem, you will always find it.
5. Learn when you should be vulnerable
The emotional coating is what today is known as the fear of a person to be hurt, which leads to close completely to their emotions. The only result is that as they do not allow themselves to feel their emotions to the fullest, they lose the sense of what it is to live.
Being vulnerable requires great strength and takes time. You need to do what is in your heart and soul. It means admitting that you love someone before he or she tells you that he or she loves you. What do you show when you're sad? Learn to be well with your anxieties and fears and achieve to turn them into strengths that lead you to emotional freedom.
6. Understand that there is a difference between men and women
Although we have fought for true equality between the sexes, we must understand that a man and a woman are not the same. The differences are largely due to our biology and also to social conditioning. No matter what the reason, learning to accept these differences will make you feel more comfortable in a relationship.
Men withdraw when they are thinking things. They need space and time and often do not like to receive advice. They need to process emotional issues. They like to spend time with their friends and do not always want to be the person to whom you tell every little detail of your life.
Women usually confuse things, we take their need for space as something personal.
7. Learn to respect
Learning to respect others is enormous. Respect is not a selfish action.
You will find that you will never receive a bad treatment if you say please and thank you, and of course, not to respect the limits and needs of another person.
Respect is something that is built.
8. Respect yourself
Just as it is important to respect others, it is equally important to respect yourself.
Life puts you in front of people who disrespect you, and although you can not change people, if you can avoid becoming one of them.
Learn to respect yourself, and do not allow people who do not do so to be within your life.
9. Learn to support and be supported
There are two types of people: those who give and those who receive.
You must learn to support people without being selfish. To treat and listen to others who ask for support, and not to give your opinion, only to attend and comfort the other person. In the same way, you must learn to receive support, to accept it, not to take opinions as something personal but as an attempt to help.
10. Learn how to diversify your interests and your relationships
Never put all the eggs in one basket. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is just have friends within your boyfriend's social circle and cut off contact with your own friends. You will realize that it is a bad decision when the relationship ends.
This only shows that you are not loyal to your friends and the support they give you, and when it is inevitable to end your relationship you will be left with nothing.
Diversify your interests, make friends with people from work or school.
11. Commit to romance
Romance can be frightening, and getting involved in all the trivia like flowers, wine, love letters, can make you feel vulnerable.
Although romance scares many people, it is an essential part of a relationship. This trip to a paradisiac destination, or that romantic night in your favorite restaurant helps create special memories and moments that you will love even if they have already finished.
12. Put fear aside
This is a lesson you have to practice throughout your life. Sometimes, when we have fatigue, stress, bad mood, or life does not go as we want, we fall into a dark place and the decisions we make are based on fear.
When you make decisions based on this feeling, you communicate your emotions badly, and you distance and hurt the people who want to be by your side.