When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent a million nights without sleep. I took my pregnancy in the same way that I had taken my subjects in college: reading and studying about pregnancy and attending childbirth classes. Undoubtedly, I had the intention of obtaining a 10 in maternity.
Then my baby was born and, like all women after childbirth, I found stitches in places I did not know I had; my breasts grew at an exponential and alarming rate; My hormones spilled around me and all I could think was: No one told me about this! There was no chapter about this in the books I read!
Why did not anyone tell me? The answer is simple: because I did not want to hear it. The truth is that when you're pregnant, you just want to talk about it: pregnancy, clothes, clever diapers and accessories for the baby. No one tells you that birth is just, literally, the beginning.
Here are ten things that I would like someone to have told me and that I wish I had listened to.
1. The first time you see or hold your baby, you may not hear the choir of angels in the distance
It is possible that the doctor is still halfway to suturing your body, or that a nurse is helping you. You will be in a lot of pain and you will feel more tired than you have ever been in your life. It's okay if you do not listen to the choir of the angels. There will be time to have all those magical moments with your baby.
2. After delivery, your first trip to the bathroom will be another difficult time
Do not be ashamed to let someone help you: do not risk losing consciousness without someone next to you. Be prepared, that this is just the beginning of the loss of your dignity as a mother. After all, you have many years ahead of you in which you will be able to visit the bathroom by yourself, but now it would be good if someone comforts you when you look after the birth for the first time, or the scar of caesarean section barely allows you to move
3. Breastfeeding is not as simple as they told you
It takes a little time for you to get used to feeding your baby and find what works best for you and your newborn (who is probably crying hysterically). Chest pain hurts at first. Sometimes a lot. The nipples can crack and bleed. Milk spills if the baby does not eat on time, and the protectors are not comfortable either.
After the first two weeks everything becomes more comfortable and manageable, but if breastfeeding is not for you or if it just does not work, in the end, the way you feed your baby is insignificant compared to how it is done. that you love your baby.
4. On the fourth day after delivery, you will most likely cry. Very much.
This is usually due to your hormones, but you will feel a huge sadness; you will be sure that your life is over, that your partner is an imbecile and that you can not do anything right. You're going to cry just for sure. It is allowed, but if you continue crying and feeling bad, seek help soon: postpartum depression affects many mothers.
5. You may not wear real clothes for weeks
Wear pajamas: clean, fresh and beautiful, but stay in your pajamas unless you want to cook, clean and receive visitors. It takes time to become an active member of society while taking care of another human life, at least for the first two weeks.
6. Babies do not always sleep
This is not the result of something you did because you are already a failure as a mother. Babies, eventually, sleep. I promise you. Although not before three months, one five or six hours in a row. So do not compare yourself if other parents tell you that their babies are sleeping: babies are as different as adults. But the sleepings with yours are temporary: you will be exhausted and you will despair, however, remember at all times that your baby will sleep sooner or later.
7. Do not let anyone make you think you do not know your own baby and do not let anyone make you think you're doing a bad job
There is no right way to be a good father and there are many ways to be a good father too. Remember: You do not have to do what your mom, mother-in-law or grandmother did. Listen to your instinct and DO NOT SHARE with any other mom known to you that you think is doing better than you.
8. Lean on other mothers
Being in touch with other women who have just had a baby is crucial, even if you go back to work after your maternity leave. Having a newborn is like going to college for the first time, it is necessary to find other new students so they can all be together and support each other.
9. Do not be a martyr
Ask someone to help you hold the baby while you shower and take a nap. It is not easy to adjust to being a mom. One day you are a person who takes care of yourself and the next day you can not button your shirt properly. Do not be afraid to say: it is difficult or this is not what I imagined. And it does not mean that you are not 110% grateful for the blessing of that little one or that you are not completely in love with your baby.
10. Take lots of photos, because you will not remember much of this later
The first year of the first time you are a mother is something you will never experience again, no matter how many children you have. Every day is a miracle. Every day is a trip. Each day may seem to last 100 hours and your little one or your little one will grow during each of them.
When you feel that everything is clouded, remember that there are lights at the end of the road. That you will realize what no one has told you because most things you have to experience for yourself. There are no books or classes that tell you what you can really expect when you are waiting.